Finally realised what the feeling I've been feeling the whole night was.
That feeling of loss, of losing everything you once had..
Like how Alexander the great lost his entire kingdom to a bout of high fever..
or how Napoleon lost at the Battle of Nations..
Even great men of history had their losses..
who am I to say I can escape this dreaded fate...

Don't know why, I suddenly got reminded of him just now..
He whom I spend most of my first 3 months in army together..
racing each other to see who could reach the toilet first every morning..
and pretending to argue and shout at each other, seeing who could last the longest without bursting out in laughter first.. though this usually ends up with the everyone else around laughing first -.-"
after losing him 2 years back, to that cursed car accident..
haven't been quite ready to accept that fact...

I can still remember how his retarded, cock of a voice sounds like...


Too many mistakes...
too many things lost...
In the past year...
Good friends... be it to accidents or mistakes..
People I can really talk to..
Opportunities..
Time..
Confidence..
Myself..
Dammit!! the only significant thing that's been gaining constantly is probably body mass..

A lil' too late now to change anything
That time has come and gone..

Es todo excepto una pesadilla..
it's all but a bad dream... a really bad one...
Till the time I wake up in the bright morning sunshine again...

PS: After the operation I thought that I finally managed to change my sleeping timing back to normal.. but the bloody sundown marathon managed to shatter that hard earned dream once again.. Urgh!!! *gives up*