Hmm.. as per requested by my loyal readers, here's a post on my new r/s.. my latest crush!

ok.. i'm totally pissed now!!! like TOTALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
after 4 days of hell in camp.. waking up at 530am everyday..
sweating and smelling like shit almost 24 hrs a day...
and when i finally get to come home and spend a night here..
i thought i could use the internet lor.. who knows...
now I cant even switch my lappie ON!!!!
F**K!! not only could i not use the net.. i lost like the past 4 months of important files, photos and songs that i havent backed up...
feeling just totally fucked up now..
just 2 hours ago i felt like shit..
now i feel like the toilet bowl that held the shit i felt like for the last 4 days...
Urghhhhhhhhhhhhh!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think i was cursin even more than the past 4 days combined..
that's ALOT considering where I was for the past 4 days..
Booking back into camp at 730 am tmr..
this just sucks..
whatever lah...
AS LONG AS THE EARTH STILL SPINS!!!!

My eyes were tearing by the time i reached home..
Thought i was supposed to be lucky today?
Why did the night end so horribly instead..
first learning stuff that weren't so pleasant..
then now this!!
I thought stuff like this only happens on the television??
Terribly traumatised and depressed now... and guilty...
I'm seriously sorry...
Urghhhhhh!!
The image... i can't even close my eyes dammit!!!
can't get to sleep...
How am I gonna face emily in the future...
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
why must something like this happen to me!!!!!

At least i had a decent pre-disaster chat...
_____________________________________________________

And NO...
Things ain't OK yet in case you were wondering...
and it never WILL be unless you actually DO SOMETHING about it.. for once..
which i highly doubt you would seeing that you have a new found friend now...
so yar...
you can continue living in your fantasy world all you want..

Hmm.. lots of things to say.. but i guess it wouldnt matter..
it's not like you care to hear.. to you it's probably another case of 'pms'.. another random burst of emotions..
it was never about my feelings and what mattered to me..
funny though, that these emotional bursts only happens with you and not anyone else huh..
ever had the thought that these things weren't random?
how things got this bad i dont know.. but i guess it wouldnt matter either..

It's the nights when there's nothing to do that kills..
reading conversation histories...
looking at photographs..
seeing how the smiles turned from the ones that were from the heart..
to the ones that were just for the photograph...
and then finally the smiles stopped altogether..
the things you've done for her..
and the reasons for giving the presents.. every single occasion..
remembering the smile on her face when you gave them to her..
maybe just deleting everything in the com would be better..
even reading the same comics that you know she reads brings back unwanted memories..
pleasant but unwelcomed..

People are just 'fan jian' (disgusting?? ... self degrading?? .. how about just plain dumb??)
they know they should really be forgetting about that person..
they know that this person brought them suffering and hurt..
but somehow..
somewhere inside, they always choose to remember the sweet times...
and they choose to continue caring about the person..
no matter how frustrated they might be..
they help search for things he/she wants..
they check the person's results to see how he/she fared...
they want to know what the person does or do..
and they pray at night hoping that he/she gets what he/she wants...
sucks huh..
there are just some portions of life that i really hate...
and this is one of it..
plus.. five days of looking at nothing else but men aint gonna make things any better!!! Urgh!!!
ok.. that was just plain digressing.. bahhh!!

Results were............................. hai...
mediocre?
but it was to be expected seeing how i managed to miss basically EVERY SINGLE lesson, be it lecture or tutorial, in the last semester...
GPA dropped further...
Heart sunk a little lower..
but all will be well i guess..
when tomorrow comes again...

oh.. anyone wanna keep fit for a good cause??
a 4km charity run/walk around the singapore river..
free t-shirts and babes in short shorts included..
I'm doing this for someone.. so do this for me maybe?
just need ta go check the site out @ www.milkrun.sg

the things that one does when it gets a little too boring...



it's really funny if you keep staring hard at the middle of all the smileys..
you'll burst out laughing at the smileys' retarded synchronized expressions...
ok.. maybe it's just me...

It's been a while since I've last exercised.. vigorously..
and seriously, the last time I attended training like today's.. was back in secondary school days when i was in the bball team..
ok fines.. i'm getting old.. whatever.. but the point is, i'm aching all over now.. my neck, my arms, my back... ooohh~~~ !!!
it's good preparation for next week's reservice i guess...

It all started yesterday when our dear JY asked me if i wanted to go for floorball training.. i remembered saying okay rather enthusiastically..
did i mention he failed to tell me that it was for this Division 3 competition thing and the training was actually REAL training!!
SO!!! in the 20 odd pple who turned up, i ended up being the ONLY person who HASN'T played floorball in my ENTIRE life, except for the retarded PE lessons back in JC... which were totally of ZERO help at all, because we always ended up playing soccer using the sticks as goal posts...
Thanks lor...
but I had fun though!
To sweat again, like today, was definately refreshing.. and I can say now that i know a new sport.. adding to the many many more i already know how to play =b
whether or not i wanna go for the team.. well, let's just see how it goes k..

anyways.. DIP's OVER!!!!!!!!!
Finally!! no more dragging myself up at 7 am to go to school!!
we didn't get into the finals, even though i thought that our prototype was damn cool... especially the 2 air dampers.. it's like, WOW!! I wished i had THOSE in my home...
anyways.. it's for the better.. because now we don't have to go back to school again on tues, weds and thurs...
even though i STILL have to go back to school on those days now.. DUHZ~!!!
but at least it's not for DIP...
and on the plus side.. i think we have a rather good chance of getting an A for our project.. so yar.. it's almost like the best of both worlds =)
i'll post pics of our finished prototype up when i get them...

so yups.. dance practice tmr..
hope i dont get cramps or something in the middle of dancing.. geez!

Been like super busy the past 2 weeks..
with DIP, with FOC seniors camp, with hall ball and tuition..
and letting my sunburnt arms get pampered with aloe vera gel =)
i didnt manage to get a hall for next semester btw..
pinning my hopes on the recommendation list now..
and then there's the going out basically every night..
catching up with old friends, going out with new ones, and i guess trying to forget some...

I dont know if it's me really enjoying what i'm doing now, or it's just me lying to myself again..
maybe there's a reason for me keeping myself this busy and occupied..
so that i wont be 'fan jian' and end up giving in again..
and having listened to so many breakups and quarrel stories these days..
makes me wonder if maybe it's time for everyone to start over..
a clean slate.. a new chapter..

oh that'll be easy wont it..
to just forget about everything and pretend nothing ever happened
that'll be running away..
but then again..
there really isn't a choice if the other party doesnt seem the least bit interested in putting things right..
i'm just so tired of being the only one who always seem to care..
it just feels stupid..
lets not waste anymore of each other's time shall we...
there's no point in searching for something that's already lost...

if there's one thing i'll miss though, it's the mahjong sessions..
the moving in the carpet from the living room so that we wont disturb the troublesome neighbour as we bitched till the sun comes up...
but it's all just part of the package i guess...
giving up on things that just 2 weeks ago, mattered to you the most...


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something happier...


photos from senior's camp...
or rather.. photo...


In the plethora of pictures that were taken, this was the only decent one i could find that didn't show my legs sticking out of the swimming pool or with a face full of make-up... so yah...





ok.. maybe i'll add the pool one just for kicks...


guess which sexy pair's mine??
the most well built and perfectly toned ones of course...
(psst!! try ta pretend you didnt see the blisters k)