Ok. this is gonna be a real quickie.. before going back to my DIP report and finally, my beauty sleep...

Back from senior's camp..
survived my first day back at DIP and the disgusting presentation..
there was even a moment in the middle of my presentation that I actually wanted to yawn!!!
be glad i didnt *phew*
the tutor didnt seem really interested in our presentation though.. i mean, who would when there were 20 presenters in one presentation!?!?! but anything, whatever.. as long as i get my grades.. hah

Senior's camp was fun! although I came back with lots of scars..
for the records, a broken toe, blistered feet, cuts on my fingers, puffy eyes and skin burnt so badly i had to bathe with cold water in hall or it gets too painful..

i definitely had fun bringing in the couples for fright night though.. scaring them at the entrance even before they go in.. and scaring ourselves in the process! hahah.. geez!
and then walking the route in the end... sorta brought back memories..
and even though the program overran horribly, somehow i believed everyone there gained something that night..
be it knowledge in organizing, or a closer relationship with your buddy, or a changed impression of someone you knew, or a new found friend, or a whole leg of mosquito bites.. it was a rather rewarding experience all in all..

so yups... kinda looking forward to the actual camp already...
and i need a holiday!! urgh...

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do i always have to be the one who starts talking again?
arent you being selfish if you want the whole world to change for you..
and yet refuses to change yourself?

if that's the case, then you can continue remaining at that spot...
while everyone else moves forward...

The past few days had been a sweet dream..
though short, but it was rather pleasant and unforgettable..
and even if I was a lil' disappointed with how it all turned out,
i guess in the end, it was your decision to make...
so yups, i just hope you'll be happy that way...

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On a side note, first day of senior's camp was TIRING!!!
Especially after five days of 9 to 5 work...
but it turned out better than expected...
i had alot of fun...
and a whole face of blusher and lipstick...
THANKS lahh...

One more day tmr...
hope i dont get too burnt...

bahz... i still went to watch pirates in the end yesterday night...
Bloody good movie... loads of slapstick humor throughout the whole show.. just brilliant!!
Depp was much funnier and twisted than previous episodes.. dont you just love him???

But the 'pirate' slangs were a little too difficult to comprehend in the movie.. until now, neither me nor my friend knows what in the world was Calypso mumbling after she was freed.. anyone cares to explain???

And i ended up reaching home wayyy past midnight again.. slept at 5am..
and guess what.. i woke up at 9:40am today!!! wths...

according to my mom, she said that when she tried waking me, i told her that I did not have to go to sch today... something I totally had no impression of -.-" ?????
had to cab down in the end...

And i was too uber tired.. when I got onto the cab, the first thing i said was..
"Uncle, Choa chu kang crescent"

Then when he repeated "Huh? Choa chu kang crescant ah?"
I even replied a bit impatiently "Uh.. it's near to Yew Tee Mrt that one.."

Then it hit me... I WAS at Choa Chu Kang Crescant... duhz...
too shagged...
and senior's camp is tomorrow.. die le lahhh.. hais...
Gonna sleep at 8pm tonight!!!

One good thing thou.. DIP's almost over... and we've pushed ourselves a little bit this week so that hopefully we can take a longer rest next weekend... so now our porject's almost finished... woohoo!!!

Finally!!! A night with me at home at this timing..
but the only reason for that is because i have these stupid presentation slides to finish by tomorrow morning.. bahh.. if not I'd be out watching pirates by now...
it's ok.. i can always watch it tmr...

Anyways, this week's been hectic hectic hectic...
Dip everyday and going out after that only to come home well after midnight every time..
it's taking it's toll on me man...
Can even fall asleep on the shuttle bus from hall one bus stop to S1...
then have to take one more round because i missed the stupid stop -.-"

but DIP's been fun though.. watching what you build working during the dry runs, it's an achievement on it's own..

Anyways, so many pple are having r/s problems... wat's this? The season for quarrels?

And I seriously dread going for senior's camp and then having presentation on monday morning lah!!! Urgh..
I can just picture myself looking so chui and mumbling crap when it's my turn to present..
-.-"

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On another topic...

I was wondering..
How can one be friends with another who is SO afraid of even doing things that friends normally do...
Can a sprinter really be a sprinter if he were afraid of moving forward?
Can a pilot really be a pilot if he were afraid of heights?
Can a diver really be a diver if he were afraid of the water?

So just forget about it don't we...
forget about diving, forget about flying, forget about moving forward, and forget about being friends?
So yar.. just whatever..
enough of trying to salvage what's left...
have lost all manner of hope in that person already...
something i should have done a long long time ago...

I was shocked when I saw the lyrics to this song...
totally what i feel everytime..

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

Another weekend's passed.. wasted almost the whole of today rotting at home.. guess that's the backlash for coming home only in the morning.. happily slept till 1am..

Entertainment and Rest.. two inversely proportionate relations.. Having too much of one means giving up on the other...

Yesterday was fun though.. meeting up again after so long, and chatting and catching up through the night, taking turns to say lame jokes and laughing at ourselves.. seems like we've been through alot...

3 more weeks to the end of DIP.. the real busy part starts this week... it's really gonna be a hellava monday tomorrow.. seriously hope i have time for entertainment AND rest.. but guess that's quite out of the question for now...
even my nights on weekdays are packed with stuff up till thursday... geez..
tennis on tuesday though.. looking forward to it..

Seniors camp's coming up this weekend... seriously, i aint really looking forward to it.. DIP till friday.. then 2 days of crazy running and shouting around.. and then back to school on monday for DIP..
there MUST be a better way to kill myself...

One good news though.. is that i managed to get cheerobics back.. now just to make sure it will be in good hands next year.. any takers??

well, back to my boring book..

Since my other channel to vent my exasperation isnt really keen on functioning today, this one will do fine for the moment..
It's so warm tonight!!! urghh... so warm i cant fall asleep even though i'm like so exhausted after today's DIP..
And DIP See-Rye-Ous-Lee Sucks!!!
Totally feels like I'm doing a 9 to 5 job everyday now.. and the fact that I'm doing the work of a mechanical and civil engineer on top of my original electrical engineer jobscope isn't helping at all.. bahh...

Life's just so unfair huh..
Some people are happily slacking at home everyday, waking up at 1 pm.. while others have to wake up at 7 am just to drag themselves down to school just so that they can work their bums off for the next 8 hours...

Some people are happily earning 10 bucks/hour at their part time job... while others are earning a pathetic 0.094 cents/second at their Professional Attachment..

Some people have love bugs crawling all over their lives, going out on movie dates every other day... while others have to face the pains of breakups and rejection, and the loneliness of their small little room...

Some people get to work with capable people who are able to solve every damn problem thrown at them.. while others get stuck with the most uncooperative, irresponsible losers around...

Some people get to spend their holidays at the most popular shopping spots in Taiwan, the prettiest mountain peaks in Europe, or the multicoloured tulip fields in Japan.. while others have to sit in a stupid laboratory day after day facing wires and multimeters and boring circuit boards..

but hey.. the list will never end if everyone just keeps comparing.. life's interesting because of these unfairness..
So whatever problems YOU might have, look for your channel of complaint already..
get all that shit out, and continue walking the great journey we call LIFE...

It's been a while since I've had anything emotional to post about..
so i thought i'd give y'all emo-post suckers out there a certain treat today...
so.. Bon Appétit..

Ever had that feeling like you know someone inside out at times..
and yet that same person can become a total different person in the blink of an eye..

Day by day you resist and you hold back your feelings,
because you know showing too much would only cause more problems for both of you..
you try not to talk to her online..
and when you finally do, she often makes you feel like discontinuing the conversation..
when you give a dumb excuse to stop the conversation..
the two of you dont even say bye to each other..
like strangers often do..

you can live without her..
but when you're sick..
and you're having problems..
when you want someone to talk to..
then you realise that the one who is making you smile isn't her anymore..

Maybe it would have been better,
if you had the ability to read thoughts..
then you wouldnt have to guess each time if she wants to chat..
You wouldnt have to guess if it were your MSN having problems sending messages over..
or if she simply doesnt want to reply..
You wouldnt have to guess if she really cared..
You wouldnt have to guess if she really gets what you want to tell her..
everytime you write something like this..
You wouldnt have to guess why you just cant stop thinking about her..

why cant love just be simple and straightforward..
the more i keep convincing myself that she's not the one..
the more i want her here with me..
suppressing these feelings seriously sucks..
especially when everything reminds you of the past..
it hurts when you cannot care for the one you love most..

Just another emo day...