Many things I just cannot forget... or put down... so easily...
Especially when it's stuff that means so much to me...
or at least stuff that once meant so much to me...

I thought that i had already put everything behind me...
but when it comes back to matters of that department...
i guess i just cannot...
yar...
even though it's been a year now...
but everytime...
will just start having that dreaded feeling of exhaustion coming over me after a while..

I guess I just can't forget... yet...
not the feelings of the individual...
but the feeling of how it felt...

like what a friend once said to me last time bah...
these kinda things..
would take the right time...
the right person...
the right situations...

many who knows me long enough, if they knew, would just strangle me for doing what i did..
saying what a chance i've given up...
but all i can say is..
I know I was an ass..
but i don't want to go through all that again..
neither would i want anyone to feel whatever I felt before..
So i'm sorry.. but of course..
nobody knows what tomorrow may bring...
that's why we live for the present..
for what today is going to be..
to be as happy as we can be..
so everyone stay happy kies ^.^
even though you might be wearing some disgusting green and brown and beige outfit..
and you haven't bathed for 3 days..
and you smell like Miyu's crap...
SMILE!!! for a better tomorrow...

Coz some bored girl want something to read, so here it is...
don't even know how she's gonna read this.. she's at a camp -.-"

Anyways.. Drumzout 2008 is finally over!!!!
Was a BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!! rather exceeded my expectations of the event though.. but i guess it's just the atmosphere of these things.. competitions are almost always bound to end up with lots of emotions and cheers and high people.. just waiting for the photos to be sent to me now -.-

Besides that.. the past few days had just been lots of GREEN.. and oil and grease and sweat and sleepy eyes.. and it's gonna be that way for the next week.. roar!!! stupid reservist.. and it has to clash with my subject registration.. grr.. Mr HAN!!!! please please PLEASE help me GET my subjects okay!!!!! hahaha.. MUST ARHS!!! ^.^

Yups.. guess i'll blog more when i get out.. when i get the photos of the event ok Miss Tan ^.^

Finally realised what the feeling I've been feeling the whole night was.
That feeling of loss, of losing everything you once had..
Like how Alexander the great lost his entire kingdom to a bout of high fever..
or how Napoleon lost at the Battle of Nations..
Even great men of history had their losses..
who am I to say I can escape this dreaded fate...

Don't know why, I suddenly got reminded of him just now..
He whom I spend most of my first 3 months in army together..
racing each other to see who could reach the toilet first every morning..
and pretending to argue and shout at each other, seeing who could last the longest without bursting out in laughter first.. though this usually ends up with the everyone else around laughing first -.-"
after losing him 2 years back, to that cursed car accident..
haven't been quite ready to accept that fact...

I can still remember how his retarded, cock of a voice sounds like...


Too many mistakes...
too many things lost...
In the past year...
Good friends... be it to accidents or mistakes..
People I can really talk to..
Opportunities..
Time..
Confidence..
Myself..
Dammit!! the only significant thing that's been gaining constantly is probably body mass..

A lil' too late now to change anything
That time has come and gone..

Es todo excepto una pesadilla..
it's all but a bad dream... a really bad one...
Till the time I wake up in the bright morning sunshine again...

PS: After the operation I thought that I finally managed to change my sleeping timing back to normal.. but the bloody sundown marathon managed to shatter that hard earned dream once again.. Urgh!!! *gives up*

don't know whether if it's the serious lack of sleep that's causing me to be so.. blue.. The physical exhaustion is making me mentally tired also i guess.. just so sick and tired of everything.. *yawns*
plus, think the rain water from last night is affecting my eyes now.. bahh.. feels like I'm having dried contacts in my eyes and can't take them out.. seriously pray they don't get infected... gwahh..

point to note.. NEVER do anything stupid like being road marshals for marathons EVER again!!! ESPECIALLY those that requires you to stay awake OVERNIGHT!!! Grrrrr... total killer... i feel like a blob of jelly now... so tired to even walk to the kitchen to find something to eat -.-
It was fun though.. working with that bunch of people, meeting new people... just not overnight next time k...

balls.. who is the cock who called me to wake me up de!!! over such stupid things somemore.. grrr...

Foul mood now... I'll probably just punch everyone who crosses my path >.<

ROAR~!!!!!!!!