Insignificant Ramblings

Monday, August 28, 2006

This Bloody Flu is getting on my NERVES!!!! Urgh!!!!
Woke up this afternoon feeling totally pissed that I had to go for MB102 presentation in this kinda situation..
Droopy, teary eyes, red nose, hoarse voice.. totally unmotivated to move..
My sleep these 2 days have been in 30 minute intervals.. keep having to wake up and clear my damn throat..
And the $7 "miracle" tea is not working.. damn con-woman..
And I'm playing mj again ltr.. haha.. I am so asking for it...

Last Hoped @ 10:35 PM

Y

A very quick summary of the past 2 weeks that I had missed ~shooom~

The Campus Concerts
They are one of the few CAC events left that I had to be in.. I shall leave the job of exalting the events to the many other blogs who wrote endless praises about the concerts..
Felt really good doing all those
It's the wrapping up of a long, tiring term of service..

The Late Night Suppers
Extension trips almost every night for the past few weeks..
Ah Fang prata...
Making me put on weight again..
Jogging anyone?

The Hall Bash
Once bitten (and pinched), twice shy..
Remind me NEVER to sit between 2 drunk ladies ever again..
Bruises and teeth marks, a testament to the horror I went through that night..

The Birthday Party
So friggin' far!!!
But the food was excelente!!! Way better than Traders Hotel's garbage.. oOps..
Happy 21st Mervin :o)

The Mahjong sessions
The losing season is here again.. lost all 3 times when I played that weekend..
I wanna play again soon!!!

The Shocker
That totally caught me off guard.. seriously wasn't expecting it to come so fast..
Just glad that things are back to normal now...

The Phonecall
Thanks a million times for picking up the phone twice that night..
5am!!! be thankful it was Union day the next day...

Alarm Clock Service
I'd like to sign up for the "Every Friday Package" please.
Morning jog's good for the body.. keep that habit going every Friday morning!
"How would I liveee... without you... I want to know..."

Serangoon Garden's Meeting
Hokkien mee, Sotong and BBQ Wings..
Productive meeting..
X mark's the day of the X-quisites..

The Dream Fulfilled
No not that dream I've been blogging so oftenly about.. the other one!
City of love.. here I come..
Eiffel Tower, The Lourve,
Amsterdam's Red Light District,
London Bridge is falling down,
LIVE English Premier League Matches,
Westminster Abbey, (is that how you spell it?)
Switzerland Chocolates,
The Alps' snow-capped tips!!!
I can't stop dreaming about you.. all of you...

The Dream Un-Fulfilled
Venice and Rome
Streets of water.. St Peter's Square..
I promise I'll go back some other time..
After I get my car that is...

The Retro Ball
Photo whoring sessions in the car!!!

Jocelyn...

Eyes on the road!!! -------------------------- Hey hey hey!!! No more bitting!!!

Looking Geeky~!!!

Year 2006 (Wuyan)

Year 1950s? Fans of Grease (Dennis and Cong Ming)

Remember Smarty from Bookworm Gang? hehs... (Sophia)

Adeline the Freshie

Weiquan & Jocelyn

=SBS - 1= Doreen, Huiyun, Junyi & Linda

Table Photo.. Simpson 2nd year seniors

My kick-ass roomie

Simpson Family... Hall Queen Elaine

The food was.. erhem..
The program was erhem..
But I had fun that night...

The Chance Missed
70 and 71.. so close!!!

The Sending Off
Wuyan's off to California.. See ya in 4 months time...

5am at the airport... shagged to the max...

The F**king Flu!!!
It's MURDERING me.. aircon every weekend's taking it's toll finally..
That's why I shouldn't be staying in hall 16..
Skin's coming off my nose from wipping too much...
Using tissue like it's free.. popping flu panadol like it's crack..
Dustbin's filled with nothing but tissue and my thick yellowish mucus..

Last Hoped @ 4:39 AM

Y

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Something interesting I found on a friend's blog that i can like totally relate to..

Love is a choice. You can't possibly fall in and out of love.
When people say that they've fallen out of love, they are just saying that they have chosen not to love the other anymore.
our lives are composed by our personal choices. and to every choice that we make, there is a cause, and an effect which will then lead to another cause.
our lives should be in order because freedom is based on order. ( didn't understand this line, but yah, my life is definately nowhere near in order now )

In relationship, distance is not measured by miles, its measured by affection.
when something goes wrong in a relationship, we withdraw our affection to the person.
we stopped talking to each other. and the longer we stop talking to each other, the longer the issue drags.
in the end, when we want to piece back the broken pieces, we don't even know where to start, because we forget what had caused the breakdown of that relationship.

The first and second paragraphs are talking about two different things in my life..
So you can imagine how shocked i was to come across both of them on the same blog.
But well, hope things goes back to normal..

-bits for thoughts-

Last Hoped @ 4:29 PM

Y

Wow.. never knew I could go for so long without blogging.
Maybe it's because my reason for blogging no longer exists?
It was the reason why I had wanted to start a blog in the first place...
Is it really gone for good? Or is it because I myself have chosen not to remember?

Lyrics from a song I love so so much.
"Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional
Just think that the lyrics at the ending part of the song is very sweet.. enjoy
Peeps, go download this song, or ask me to send it to you.. and as you listen to this part, close your eyes and picture yourself in the mtv thingy scene.. you'll love it, trust me...

Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo
The dim of the soft lights
The scent of your hair
that you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together
The streets were wet
And the gate was locked
So I jumped it
and let you in
And you stood at the door
with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew that you meant it
That you meant it
That you meant it
And I knew
That you meant it
That you meant it

Why are things happening the way they are happening now. Sheesh!
Stuff just aren't falling in place for me.. OMG...
Things that aren't supposed to be happening are happening to me almost everyday!
And things that ARE supposed to be happening are so NOT happening for me... Urgh!
Anyways, guess I have to be happy that at least certain things are looking so so so much better now compared to one month back..
But is this what I really want?
Questions questions.. that I will probably never get the answer to..

I'm sorry that my posts are all about negative stuff..
But then again, blogging is just another channel for me to depressurise myself..
So bear with me.. Or you all can help pray that things start looking up for me :-p
Then that way I'll have plesant things to write about.. hehs

Some quotes I see on my MSN these days:
-I met you, and now I'm sure, this never happened before-
-If you want what you never had, then you must do what you've never done-
-If you can't let go of your past, then you will never find happiness-
-Is it really possible to forget something while you're thinking about it-
-Hate the way I'm feeling these days, can't you sense it?-
-How, Then, Shall I live without you?-

What? Heartbreaks, the trend these days???

No sé lo que pasará de aquí
Pero usted sólo tiene que saber
Que yo todavía la ame, pase lo que pase

Last Hoped @ 4:00 AM

Y

Monday, August 14, 2006

I just HAD to turn on the classical music and stone..
totally stupid move..
been busying myself the past few days so that I would not have time to think.. but why did I have to give in and start thinking tonight..

The reminicing, the missing of Smses, the moving on, the feeling that everything you see, every place you go, reminds you of a memory..
just feels wierd that everything that I have felt and said so far.. is all coming out of that same person who has made me feel this way..
why does everything look and sound so familiar..
was that why you put the word Karma back then?

of course it'll hurt.. and yours wasn't even close..

After thinking about it, I finally know what happened..
the reason why everything had turned out this way..
did it hurt? yeah.. guess it did.. but I've had worse.
been hurt so much already, it doesn't really matter anymore..

my heart is still hurting.. this time it's both literally, and figuritively...

moving on?
is everything really gonna end here? who knows..
blog censorship just sucks.. there are alot of stuff that I wanna say but I cant, lots of stuff I wanna procrastinate about.. but yups, just hope that the person gets what I'm trying to say here..

Last Hoped @ 4:45 AM

Y

Question 4 of my MB102 - Business Finance tutorial
Why is profit maximization, by itself, an inappropriate goal? What is meant by the goal of maximization of shareholder wealth?

Ok.. It's a super straightforward question..
Supposed to be doing my tuts now, but I'm just not in the mood *yawns*
Having acute heart pains(literally) suddenly.. hope the pain goes away tmr..

Had a super happening weekend. So happening that I totally don't feel like going back to hot, boring ol' LT27 tomorrow morining.. but I have to.. so yeah, sux..

-AND FREAKING KEITH'S BLASTING TRANCE AT THIS HOUR!!!-

Went to watch fireworks on friday.. All the way from New Caledonia.. Pretty sparks. They always are..
Coffebean and Macdonalds TC session till 2am after that..

Then it was CAC ball on Saturday night. Great food, just that our plan to put more people at another table failed horribly!!! Somehow our table ended up with the most people.. Totally wasn't full at the end of the night -.-"
Lazy to post the pics now.. another time bahz... maybe..
Ktv session after that.. erm. quite dead until the end. somehow I got quite high for no reason.. starting with the stpid "Fen Shou Ba" song.. lolx..
But singing "Yi liao bai liao" again really brought back memories.. missing two idiots singing Twinkle twinkle little star beside me...

Went to Indoor Stadium to watch Phillip's Cup today..
Erm.. felt quite awkward halfway through.. but yar.. suan le..
The matches were ok though. The last match was a disappointment.. but it was entertaining anyways..
Went Geylang for "Niu Rou He Fen".. it's so good I wanna go back there again!! But it was damn ex...

*Click* Put me on auto-pilot mode and fast forward me to the next holidays!!!

My prata's back!!! Till next time...

Last Hoped @ 2:28 AM

Y

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Ok, was eating with my parents at Swensen's yesterday, and I had ribeye steak. And halfway through, I looked down at my plate and I saw this, right before I was going over to the wake.. yups, I had unknowingly cut my piece of steak up into the shape of a coffin.. guess yesterday was full of bad omens...

Ok.. enough about the past few days.. felt damn good today..
As I had hoped, today had been a way better day compared to the other days..
After what happened to me in the afternoon, which had me ended up wasting $15 on a new ezlink card, I thought today was going to be another bad day. But as the day went on, everything sort of fell in place quite nicely..

First of all, I am seriously happy that we had everything sorted out.. After what happened to me the past few days, it felt quite good to finally get something off my chest..
Yes, we're just good friends, give us some breathing space pls..
Like what I said in my previous post, not everything I do is because of her.. yes!
And I am not known as "The guy who likes her" or "The guy who is chasing her" please. I have a name ley... Super sad can. I rather you all think of me as "Cheerobics Chairperson" or "The guy who did the NG video" or something else lor... I am not defined by her. And don't need to keep asking about our status de, really.. haha..
I do not go out only because of her and yes, I do not ONLY chat with her on msn can... duhz...
So yar, lets move on people.. we can talk about other people, like a certain someone who likes Hong Junyang's "Sha Sha De Shui" and a certain Kanzaa gal you know? Yar.. Want to 38 also choose the newer, more interesting gossips right? We're a passe le.. yups.. Hahahah..
Sry to do this to you dude.. lolx.. shouldn't have told me about the girl. Although this title hasn't been used for a very long time, but yar, I'm still the Sampat Club President remember? = b

Ok, all those aside, wanna thank jy, gin, kc, yl and cl (although I dun really noe her) for this afternoon's movie and company. Made me forget about everything that had happened for a while.. And kc, I really won't go around telling pple that you cried during the movie de =b
But seriously pple, thanks..

And to those who asked how I was and showed ur concern one way or another,
Simon (dun noe if you read my blog or not), but thanks for asking me so many times if I'm ok, hahh..
Wanpei, thanks for the sms in the morning and the attempts to cheer me up last night..
Lewis, thanks for asking and talking about it at the concert..
Yanli, for the concern and yes, it's really ok to tell me about it just now, stop feeling bad about it le.. hahh..
Calvin, thanks for being the big brother/uncle and sharing with me your experiences and consoling me..
Hoi, for being so understanding and saving me from a horrible afternoon of unwilling smiling and entertaining people, though I still have to do it tmr morning :O(
Yifen mei, for telling me about YOUR bestie, and entertaining me during the concert.. hahh...
Bird! For coming back tonight and saving me from another night alone in the room..
Yups, and to the others I might have missed out.. thanks lots.. I'm getting over it for now le..
Have to get back to focusing on my studies.. missed out on the first day of lectures in the end.. Determined to pull my GPA back to the 3.8 range!!! Really hope that CAC stuff can end real soon! My next 2 weeks is like packed FULL with CAC stuff lar.. Urgh!!! Pissed!!!
And yes.. Can you all stop tapping my shoulder already, I really really think it brings me bad luck!!!
So yups, lets get back on with our lives pple. It's a new month, a new sememster, a new academic year, and a new chapter of our lives.. jiayou!!!

PS: Sorry bout the sms yesterday, wasn't in the best of moods yesterday, so hope you'll understand... glad that we have it all cleared up now...

Last Hoped @ 2:53 AM

Y

Monday, August 07, 2006

Back from the wake... Back in hall... Had thought bird would be in the room, but turned out I have to spend the night alone.. Hadn't been the luckiest of times for me this week. Had gotten nothing but horrid luck.

This afternoon, a friend told me that a close friend of ours had passed away in an accident last night. And that the wake was tonight before he is to be cremated tomorrow. The news not only shocked me, but it left me stonned for a while. Started making calls to our mutual friends telling them the news.
Then at night, I read about the accident on the chinese newspapers and on CNA. And that was when I learnt the details..

The wake wasn't something grand. It was held at a casket centre at Sinming Drive.. the road leading up to the light industry area was near deserted. I knew I had reached when I saw cars parking along the sides of the road..
Turned into the carpark and I saw a group of people sitting on red plastic chairs, facing the centre. I parked my car and went over. My friend and I spotted familiar faces and we went over to join them. Exchanged greetings before we went over to pay our respects to Guanren.
After offering incense, we went into the back to take a last look at him. Looking down at him reminded me of all the things we've done together back in camp. He had a slight frown and his brows were tensed up. The scar on his face, probably caused by the accident, was barely covered up by the makeup. His face was already a little puffed up because of the decomposing. Or was it because he had gained weight since the last time I saw him? I'll never know for sure now that he's gone.
I was standing there looking down at him when his dad joined me. It was a full 1 or 2 minutes before we finally left and I went to console his mum who was still sniffing by the side. His dad was still looking at him.
When we went back to our friends, we caught up with everyone. Didn't expect that our first gathering after so long, wasn't a nice steamboat dinner, wasn't a movie outing, but it was at the wake of a good friend's death.
Spent time catching up, and then talking about memories of him. We were bringing everything we could remember of him now, what he did, what he said, the jokes and crappy stuff he did. It was like everyone was afraid that we would forget about him as time passes, and we were trying our best to recall and save what we could remember of him.
Remembered back then when that joker was a recruit, he had posed as an officer and attempted to knock a fellow recruit from another battery down to do push-ups. The recruit did not listen to him of course, and he complained to his superiors who in turn complained to ours. But because Guanren did it in such a comical way, he was let off the hook with a punishment almost negligible compared to certain death..
Yups, that's Mr Chow Guanren for you. We would manage a short sniffle after reminicing the funny parts of his life, but that's all.. We would immediately be hit by the fact that we would not be getting anymore wierd antics from him.
I wouldn't mind telling more of the kinds of crap he did if not for the fact that I'm fighting back tears now, and continuing would probably make things worse.
Anyways, before leaving the place, we went back in to take a last look at him. That frown, probably caused from the pain from the accident. And his long hair, that was once short.
I suddenly remembered how his unique laughter sounded like..
I suddenly rememebered how he would keep a stern face after telling a joke, and then burst out laughing after seeing our expressions..
I suddenly remembered his smirk face when he brags about his record number of pull-ups of today..
I suddenly remembered his begging face when he asks us for one single piece of biscuit..
I suddenly remembered his excited expression when we sprinted to grab as many night snacks as possible, and the grin on his face when we gather at the common corridoor hungrily devouring our night snacks.
All these were kept enclosed in our minds. And as we finally left the place, we all turn back and took one last look at the last place our good friend layed.

I never thought that having someone so close to you leaving you would hurt so much. And what's more I havent really seen him for some time. Can't imagine how his friends from Uni would have felt..
Girls were crying, guys were hugging each other. People were starring at the coffin keeping very quiet. I have been to many wakes. And each time, as I get older, the memories of the people who pass on gets more vivid. And as I rememeber more about them, the wakes just gets more and more painful.
Just pray that the next time I face news like this, it will be when I'm 75 and i will be receiving news that my friend has passed on peacefully of old age, and not of some stupid accident...

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
-Psalm 23:4-6-

Last Hoped @ 3:57 AM

Y

Sunday, August 06, 2006

In loving memory of Chow Guanren (middle)

Campmate, Buddy, Friend

Another day in camp, when everyone was so tired after a whole day of training. This sudden shout pierced the air. Everyone rushed to where the shout came from. I was one of the few who reached first. As I turned the corner, I saw this guy clutching his mouth and moaning in pain

Turned out he had drank from the hot end of the water cooler and scalded himself

Chow Guanren

the joker of Blazer Battery ended up walking around with a light duty status and a pair of thick swollen lips for the next 2 weeks

He was a great guy, in a funny sort of way

Someone who would go to all lengths to do things for a friend

He could tell the crappiest of jokes, with the straightest of faces

And when he DOES laugh, everyone else laughs with him

He was always disturbed by the Seargants because his never gets angry

And is loved by everyone because he makes time in hell so much more enjoyable

He was a guy, who liked to have pull-up competitions that lasted through the entire day

His record was 271 pull-ups done in one day. Something he bragged about constantly to those close to him

He loved swimming and running. One of the finest athelets I have ever seen

He wore M sized polo tees and loved loud colours like red and orange

He simply ADORES his 6 packs almost up to the point of worshipping them in the mirror every night

When my friend's dad passed on about 3 months back, I prayed that I would never have to see something like that happen to anyone close to me

Never would I have known that that day would come so quickly, just 3 months down the road

The feelings weren't as simple as just sadness or depression

It was the fact that i won't be seeing him again. And the fact that we used to be so close, and yet the last time we met up, was more than half a year ago.

When my mum asked me where he stayed, I couldn't even remember that he lived in west coast until i read about it in the papers. That just sucked...

Going over to the wake now.. Hope that things will brighten up when we see familiar faces and reminice old times once again..

Last Hoped @ 8:54 PM

Y

Friday, August 04, 2006

I am someone who blames myself easily. Especially if I think that I am really in the wrong. So do not feel bad for making me feel this way, because it only means that you have made me realise my mistake.
You're the root of all my problems, and yet I still adore you so... why?

Last Hoped @ 1:35 PM

Y