The Past

It hurts tonight....when times are dark...it makes the old wounds start aching again...
Was reading the old conversations we had....
And just a few days before everything started going wrong...
Everything was so right...
So perfect...
And then.. like the calm sea before a storm...
everything just happened.. too fast for me, us to react...

it's been 2 months since we last talked...
and you dont even dare life up your head when you see me in school...

Sometimes, don't you just wish you could go back and change your life?
If i had the chance to do that, I would:

sleep more (not that I dont have enough.. but who wouldn't want more sleep.. right???)
GO FOR LESSONS (even though i think i would probably fail terribly again)
NOT eat so much supper (I miss the days when i needed to wear a belt)
spend more time with my family (I miss the company of my irritating brother)
treasure those who really matters more
never sleep past 1 am (probably impossible.. or rather, highly impossible)
definately still have fallen in love with you...

Dude!!! stop living in the past.......
This is it... the last post that I will ever talk about regreting what I did or failed to do in the past..
Time to move from this place.. this place that I've been rotting at for so long...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Present

Friskies had been vomiting for more than a week now...
He hasn't eaten more than 2 mouths of food these 2 days...
And it pains me to see him just lie in a corner of my room the whole day...
moving only once every hour to vomit or to change his position...
When he used to be chasing a ball of paper around the house the whole day...
The meds the vet gave dont seem to be working much...

Then today...
I vomited...
twice in 10 minutes...
and once more later in the night...
and the walls of my room suddenly seemed more blue than usual...

Who is it that you want...
To be there for you when you need them...
Like how you were there for them when they needed you....
I waited...
I am weak...
Because i keep making the same mistake...
Is this some cruel joke fate is playing on me?

It's only through the dark times... that you will truely learn to appreciate the good times ahead

It was dark a moment ago...
But it's daybreak now...
And the light is starting to shine into my room...
Into me...

Some things just have to be done....

Dont try to understand all that I've just said...
Don't try to link them with a specific event in my life...
For some of them are just mere thoughts...
thoughts that came suddenly to me...
for I am one who thinks with my heart...
and emotions are never easy to comprehend...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Future

All pain will fade... all it takes is time...
Just believe