The recess week is here. Seems just like yesterday, when we had zoomed to genting for a short getaway and had so much fun, but in actual fact, it had already been half a year. time goes by fast huh.. they might call this week a break, but it is no time to play.. 5 quizes and 1 lab report coming right up in the 2 weeks to come. this 'break' is for me to catch up with my lessons.. so it's recordings, recordings, and more recordings for me... my aunt's finally going back to L.A. So i wont have to bring her around sg anymore... I wanna go ice skating again soon!!!
anyways.. was in a horrible mood a moment ago. have you ever had one of these days, when you wished you hadnt lived the last few years of your life. that you could just forget about everything. then maybe, just maybe it wouldnt hurt as much as it does now?
it's like whatever shit i overcome now, i get 10 times the shit the next time.. it just doesnt get any better.. and the thing is, that person doesnt even care... and it's when things like this happen, that makes you start wondering why you're getting yourself all hurt and stinky just to overcome all those crap for...
time and time again you get disappointed, turned down, put off... time and time again you come back with hope that she might somehow see and understand.. and hopefully things might change.. but time and time again, she fails you.. until there comes a time, when you finally realise.. that no matter what you do, you havent been in her mind even once.. and the anger builds up.. the rage.. the disappointment.. the frustration.. the need to release all that pent-up emotions.. because you dont want to hurt anyone.. you decide to just disappear.. to where nobody knows about your past.. because that's the only way to forget.. sadly but surely... and maybe one day.. you might remember her face.. but the sadness would have faded.. and what is left, would only be the lunch dates on wednesdays.. and the mahjong sessions.. and the overseas holiday.. and the bus rides to jp.. and the late night walks.. and the fries while driving.. and the fruits buying... and the study sessions.. and the rides home.. and the emails from europe.. and the phonecalls.. and all the happy memories that both of you had... would it be better that way??? to dwell on past memories.. since there wont be anymore new ones...
do people only start appreciating things when they really lose it? jy, maybe i should just take up your advice. haha.. she's definately way more worth it.. since it's always better to be appreciated...
